There is one thing that all of us learn the hard way; It is the fact that life is not always going to work the way we want. Come to think of it, nothing goes 100% the way we have planned it to go, ever.
When I wrote my book, published it, and started promoting it, it got excellent reviews. To be honest, I thought I set myself for outstanding success. Little did I know that doing it so perfectly, following the proper steps was not enough. I got some excellent reviews and then I tried writing another one, but I didn’t feel it was good enough. I felt lost; my love for reading and writing didn’t stop. But writing books at that point didn’t feel like the thing I wanted to continue doing. Although
Still, my dream was to create a business that involved these skills. I wanted to succeed as a mother, creator, and businesswoman. It seemed like an impossible dream at this point. Then two years after that, when I almost gave up entirely, I got inspired to start a blog, my website. I found I could include many of my interests in this space, monetize it and make a living out of what I love doing. I wanted to share my growth journey. The motivation and the inspiration I get with like-minded people from all over the world.
By changing my mindset, educating myself, and focusing on my flaws, but positively, I wanted to fix things and not drown myself with excuses and self-pity. My life has changed since then, and although I have a long way to go to achieve my long-term goals, I am enjoying every twist and turn, grabbing opportunities and making the best out of what I can. It’s pretty simple, really; we can train ourselves to make the best out of what life is giving us and turn our situations around.
Here are 11 things I’ve learned about life and lemons:
Take the opportunity
There is absolutely no perfect time to do something. There will never be that perfect moment when the stars will align in the universe and make an ideal setting just for you to either go to the gym, start a side hustle, save your first dollar or even buy that house of your dreams. It does not work that way. So whenever you get the chance to do something, take the opportunity. It works out, or it doesn’t. Either way, you’ll know whether to pursue or move on to the next opportunity.
Opportunity is a bizarre thing, and most of the time, it has the worst timing possible! But here is where you need to learn to be ready to take it because that train leaves really, really fast.
Have the right mindset
Whenever you are in a tough spot, most of the time, there’s some loophole that you can turn around and make the most of the situation. Here comes your mindset. It would help if you had the right attitude to look for that solution amid your problems; it is right there. Believe me. So just put those negative feelings aside for a minute and get to thinking of a way to turn things around.
Positivity and faith in oneself go a long, long way. They go longer than you expect.
The small things usually make the most difference in our lives; the devil is really in the details. So you must always be vigilant of the minor changes and the small steps you can take to turn around just about any situation you come across.
Play the cards you’re dealt
Life is a game of cards, and no one gets a perfect set; it is mostly about how you play your cards, and your timing rather than the kind of cards life has dealt you. Behind closed doors, we all struggle with things we don’t share with the rest of the world, but in my opinion, your feelings are valid, and sometimes life is not fair. Don’t waste the time you have been given in this life though, feeling bad for yourself or your situation is not the answer. Instead, use what you have, learn from others, be OK with making mistakes without being too harsh on yourself. It’s OK to be unsure and scared, but staying there and doing nothing about it is not OK.
Utilize your support system
A support system is one of the most underrated mechanisms you can use to turn any challenging situation around. As much as you feel like a lone wolf, there will always be a few people you can trust. Find those people and stick to them in your time of trouble. They will carry you to the shore. I will be honest: I rarely depend on people to solve my problems, but when I need to, I know the right person to help me with my problems.
Gratitude can make you see the best things in a challenging situation and help you understand and appreciate what you have rather than feeling victimized by fate or society.
Your fears are your worst enemy
Paranoia is your worst enemy; thinking that the universe is conspiring against you to fail all your plans and that nothing you do will work will probably result in nothing working for you.
Turning a situation around does not mean everybody else has to lose for you to win; the mentality that everybody can win while you succeed will take you much farther. Remember to focus on your grass and don’t bother with whose grass is greener.
Be kind to yourself
You cannot hate yourself and expect yourself to do your best simultaneously. Find a middle ground where you reprimand yourself for the problems you have created but not hate yourself to cause emotional damage. In 12 Rules For Life, doctor Peterson said something that resonated with me, “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.” That’s rule number 2 in his book. Sometimes you have to be firm with yourself and do something out of your comfort zone, but in the end, you know the result will be in your best interest. If you have problems, you need to do what is necessary to turn things around. It will be in your best interest.
Let me give you examples:
If you take a moment to think, that is what we do with our kids when we raise them; we don’t care about what they want if it’s not good for you. It’s a NO! And that’s that.
Or even with our pets, my cat loves home cooking more than his food, but I know he needs to have his food to get the best nutrition and be healthy, so what do I do? I ignore his adorable attempts at convincing me to grab a bite of whatever I have in my hand.
Caring for someone you love does not mean saying yes to everything; sometimes, what we want is not what we need. So reaching the goals that will lead us to self-gratification, we need to give ourselves that tough love now and then.
Embrace the ride
You can do yourself any favours in your life, and one of them is going with the flow. I am a firm believer that you can not dictate every single thing in your life, and that is all right. Go easy on yourself, see what happens, how life unfolds for you and go with the flow. Adjust your life accordingly and keep going.
Trust the process
Trusting the process is also something that directly affects the outcome. You must invest all your energy, give it your best shot, and do your utmost for the result that you are expecting. Then you end up in a challenging situation, you will know you have given it you’re all. Then, it will be a no brainer for you to fix things for yourself instead of accepting failure and giving up.
Take a hand
You do not need to suffer alone; take help, ask people to aid you however they can, seek refuge, seek advice and make it as easy for yourself as possible. The negative spiral we create for ourselves can ruin any progress and turn a situation around. Avoid the negative loop at all costs where you’re going to self-pity, judge yourself for your choices, give yourself a tough time for your past, present, or future and bash yourself about things you have no control over.
Suppose you don’t have someone who could understand your situation. In that case, that’s fine, because we are lucky to live in an era where we have access to people from all over the world. We can find the people who’ve been where we are and listen to them, learn how to do things better and sometimes connect with them.
Go easy on yourself
Lastly, go easy on yourself; you are one human being, trying your best at what you do and you are enough, have accomplished a lot. It is OK if it did not turn out the way they say it should have in all the legends that never really happened. You are good, and you have got this.
It is entirely understandable to want to win in every aspect of your life, especially when you see solid, picture-perfect examples right in front of you. But remember, not even those examples happened without some form of struggle, hard work, and disappointments involved. So it is OK to have problems on the way to extraordinary situations; it is part of the game. And the only way to enjoy the journey is to learn how to play it well!
What are the things you do to turn your situations around? I’d love to hear your perspective, and I hope some of my points will resonate with you as well.
Until next time,